awareness

i was in the ER on friday.

panic attack...big one.

riding home on the T and everything went nuts.

rode in an ambulance...thankfully i have insurance.

no matter how much good enters into my life. No matter how much i am able to be thankful that for once i don't have to sleep alone at night, no matter how much progress or fun i have musically...this disease inside me is still there and it doesn't care how happy i am and will strike when it feels necessary.

but i am tired of it. i am tired of just taking pills to fight it. i don't want to ever feel like i did in that ER on friday ever again.

i am starting cognitive behavioral therapy and i am going to war with anxiety and depression because they have robbed me of alot but i am not going to let them rob me anymore.